near:

• it’s official: after many weeks of trying out her balance, our baby is a sitter!
• feeling, quite honestly, very burnt out this week
• and overwhelmed by projects that keep piling up

far:

• trying to make the effort to remember the bright spots at the end of the day
• feeling overcommitted, overextended, overwhelmed, over it!
• thinking ahead to Michaelmas, and conquering my own dragons

the five of us

near:

• ten years ago today, my husband and I were married!
• I feel amazed and surprised and happy, all at once
• loving this big armful of children that he and I have made together

far:

• feeling, acutely, the passage of time
• knowing that babyhood is so fleeting
• knitting, knitting, knitting — Michaelmas will be here soon!

near:

• realizing (and loving!) that I’m one of “those” moms — the ones who knit at the pool every morning during their children’s swimming lessons
• inspired every day by Fiona’s cheerfulness and complete joy
• being a little too hard on myself lately

far:

• feeling sentimental — looking back at all three of my girls at the same ages
• amazed that she’s rolling over, suddenly!
• wondering how long it will take for her to figure out how to roll back

near:

• thinking that she has grown like a weed in the last few weeks — suddenly clothes that fit only a week or two ago are too short!
• loving — I mean, really loving – having a new little person in our home
• starting to look forward to resuming some homeschooling with my oldest this fall

far:

• feeling like I’m constantly balancing the energies of three very different children
• knowing that I’m blessed to have this little angel
• enjoying the summer weather, now that the heat has peaked

near:

• wishing my mama a happy birthday today!
• feeling inspired and invigorated in so many ways after a great workshop this weekend
• feeling pressures build as I have so much to get done in the coming weeks…

far:

• trying to deal with the 108 degree F heat
• in disbelief that it’s been four months since she was born
• loving all the raspberries she’s blowing — plbbbbbtttth!

near:

• loving the way Fiona reaches out to me right before nursing
• thinking that her arms and legs feel as soft as good butter
• making lots of “dream knitting” lists

far:

• watching her discover her own hands and feet
• putting on red nail polish, just because
• wishing I could buy a silk cap, then deciding to knit one instead — and being glad about that decision, on many levels

near:

• feeling a little foggy lately (hoping it’s just a bad cold and tiredness, and not something worse)
• realizing, with sadness, that I can’t remember my oldest actually being a baby
• missing my husband’s help around the house

far:

• reveling in being a family of five
• becoming ever more conscious of our rhythm, how needed it is, and how much it carries all of us
• feeling like my marriage is getting short shrift, and trying to reprioritize

near:

• so excited to see my favorite baby clothes in use again
• thinking, as I always do when I have a little baby, a lot about my own mortality and how I want to live this one life (and trying not to dwell on morbid thoughts!)
• struggling to find harmony between the sometimes contradictory ideas of creating a home that is developmentally appropriate for all of my children, and, at the same time, not becoming too child-centered

far:

• thinking about what a good mama my sister will make someday
• enjoying the reconnection to old family friends
• one of those perfect sister moments: bee and bunny laughing so hard at one another that bunny had tears running down her face

near:

• summer days are so hot!
• feeling rejuvenated after our weekend camping trip
• watching my baby learn to grasp and play with toys, just a little

far:

• feeling overwhelmed by housework, to the exclusion of being able to do things for myself
• knowing that having such a sad, teething baby won’t last
• trying to give in to the constant holding and snuggles and sleeplessness instead of fighting it

near:

• so touched by how much she adores her big brother
• worrying a little about my milk supply, and thinking that I’ve been doing too much lately
• headed out for our first camping trip as a family of five — planning to do nothing but lay in the tent and nurse that baby!

far:

• excited to finally have a baby who loves ‘babies’ from the very start
• continuing to wonder whether or not she’s teething
• putting on the amber necklace just in case